February 14, OBR: When it hurts too much, it is not love

On February 14, 2014, Friday, all women from all walks of life are invited to participate the OBR or One Billion Rising To End Violence Against Women and Children.  It is a campaign all over the world to end violence inflicted to women as well as children. Why? One could ask. Is it necessary? 

Last night my daughter was watching The Legend. a musical program in KBS/Korean Broadcasting System where all the invited artists will sing legendary songs popularized decades ago or more in Korean Music History, I was  caught by one artist, Ailee  singing the song entitled: When It Hurts Too Much, It Is Not Love,  first popularized by the late Korean song composer/singer Insooni.  

What caught me was the simple message of the song, when love hurts so much it is not really love at all.  It is very contradictory to what we are commonly told and made to believe that love is always coupled with sacrifice, suffering or hardship. And this general perception of love is generally accepted by many.The church even has its own justification: Jesus has to sacrifice himself, underwent intense suffering as he was tortured, hanged and died on the cross. He did all these things because of his total love for the whole humankind! No wonder, Christians are conditioned to believe that love is without suffering, without sacrifices because after the storms, the sun shines above and brings light to the world. That after death, there is resurrection. YES! So we were told, if Jesus the Christ suffers because of love, then who are we that cannot? However, understanding resurrection may come into various interpretation.

To a woman subjected to battering (physical or emotional) and any forms of violence either physical, mental, psychological or even spiritual by her man, lover or husband and be told to have patience and be more understanding of the pains and hurts inflicted to her by the minister/priest or pastor is total stupidity. Whoever advises her is total crazy! The song went on to say:” that it is better to let go and feel freedom”, TO LET GO is freedom, a resurrection for victims of violence! To end the violence is to let go the person who inflected you violence by ending the relationship. It is the right thing to do. Why continue an unhealthy relationship when it gives you tears, hurts and pains in the guise of love? Be a survivor not a victim, Rise! Don’t just cry and pity yourself and curled in pit and say: this is my destiny because IT IS YOU, WOMAN WHO CREATES YOUR DESTINY! Be a part of this worldwide movement of women, billions of women rising to end against violence. You are not alone because there are many among us who shared with you but we refuse to believe that it is just our destiny. Yes,LOVE MAY BE COUPLED WITH SACRIFICE AND SUFFERING BUT WHEN IT HURTS TOO MUCH, IT IS NOT LOVE ANYMORE! Ailee went to sing repeatedly: let go, let it go, it is not love when it hurts too much.

JOIN US and BRING SOME… SEE YOU on February 14. That is the most meaningful celebration for a Valentine day! What do you think?

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