Inspiring Words

The following are words taken from the book: WOMEN’S REALITY How You Can Realize Your Full Potential by ANNE WILSON SCHAEF, author of Co-Dependence.

Inspiring words that provide women the understanding to enhance self-awareness, by clarifying what it means to be a woman living in a male dominated society, which is often at odds with the way women feel. SCHAEF challenges us to accept and heal ourselves.

“We are all engaged in a long and difficult process of growth and evolution. It is time to describe, affirm, and grow.”

Growth and changes are normal to the human condition. When we define their courses and objectives, however, we limit them and ourselves.”

“Theory is only useful within its limitations; no one theory explains everything. Our most productive opportunities for new growth and understanding may come during times when our theory just does not work. Only when we can relieve ourselves of the responsibility of knowing and understanding everything, can we be open to true expansion of knowledge. Theory can either add to our knowledge or limit it by causing us to overlook important information. It all depends on how we use it.”

In the Female System, there is no right or wrong. It is possible to be different but still be alright.”

“The Female System is variable and changing. It is a system in process and is itself a process. It is an open-ended process. It is one that emerges when women “get clear” and feel free to express their values and perceptions.”

“To establish an identity is only a part of the growth process. We must understand the forces that are working against this process both within us and without. Recognizing this fact is part of the process of knowing and accepting who we are.”

“Women are often terrified of being alone without a man, They do not understand that even when no one is around they are still with someone — themselves.”

“Once we start being honest with ourselves and with other women, though the feelings of isolation lessen, our cavern begins to shrink and fill up.”

“women in general know very little about female sexuality because men have always been the ones to define. We let men tell us how we are supposed to feel, behave, and respond. We let them dictate how we should experience our innermost selves.”

“Women do not define the world in sexual terms. Sex is one and only one aspect of the totality of intimacy and lovemaking. Lovemaking involves the whole being and is completely different experience from simply having sex.”

“Intercourse and orgasms are far less important than touching, holding, stroking, and cuddling. Women participate in sex because of the touching and holding involved and do not consider intercourse the ultimate goal. Women see sex as medium for contact and closeness.”

“Women’s sexuality seems more intimately connected to relationships than men’s, and sex for women can be difficult or even unpleasant outside the context of a meaningful relationship.”

“Sex can confirm or deny love. It can confirm or deny one’s validity and worth as a woman or a man. It can confirm or deny the seriousness of a commitment. It can be the only acceptable source of nurturing and caring. It can also, of course, be a form of power wielded by one person over the other.”

“It is easier for a woman to part with her ideas because she has the capacity to produce human offspring.”

“Women will move further to a place where we can give birth to our ideas, nurture them and help grow, and then turn them over to others for development and finally let them go.”

“When women are deprived of the freedom of exploring what it means to grow up female in a White Male System, we are robbed of our experiences and our souls. Our differences give us our identity.”

“Equality cannot be externally assigned until it has been internally perceived.”

“Men who stand up for themselves are competent and assertive; women who do the same are obnoxious and aggressive. Men who openly express different opinions to women are forthright and honest; women who the same are castrating bitches who have no regard for the fragile male ego.”

“As we learn to embrace our anger, cynicism, and bitterness and work through it, we move into another developmental stage. Then and only then can we be truly hopeful, joyful, and romantic. Not at the expense of seeing; rather, we can feel free to see what we see and know what we know. We can trust our perceptions while remaining open, vulnerable, and loving.”

“Women have few models of innocence and wisdom. So we must have become our own models. If we are willing to risk, we will surely blossom into joy.”


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December 2012
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